10 Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life

If you compare the start of your relationship when everything was new and exciting to now, perhaps a few years (and maybe a few kids!) down the line, you’ll quickly notice that a lot has changed. Although you may be better friends and know one another completely, the sex aspect of your relationship could well have diminished. Unfortunately, it happens in most relationships over time and is a combination of tiredness, age, and busy lives, as well as just getting into a routine and finding it difficult to get out of it again.

However, having a healthy, active sex life is important to keep that relationship a happy one, and it’s even good for our health too. Therefore, if you find that you’re not making love as much as you once did, or you’ve fallen into a pattern where the sex is a little dull, we’ve got some fun, romantic, and exciting suggestions to put it back on track. Take a look at our ideas and try the ones that will work for you.


It’s almost impossible for you not to have heard of sexting, the act of sending sexy text messages (and images) to your partner to excite them during the day until you see one another in the evening. It’s often associated with the younger generation, but if you think that sexting is a young person’s game, it’s time to think again! Anyone can do it, and it can truly ramp up the excitement when you’re not together.

When you are sexting your partner, you don’t have to be explicit if that makes you uncomfortable. You can start by saying how much you admire certain body parts, and how much you’re looking forward to seeing them – and perhaps touching them too. Or you could mention past sexual experiences that are particularly memorable, and let your partner know you can’t stop thinking about them. Anything like this is enough to start the excitement levels growing. See how they respond, and you can reply in the appropriate way. Of course, if they don’t want to play the game, don’t keep trying, or you’ll start to really turn them off and have the opposite effect entirely to the one you wanted.

Have A Quickie

A ‘quickie’ may not sound that romantic, but in terms of spicing things up, it can work perfectly, and it means you’ll be having a lot more sex! If your sex life has become extremely routine, and you only ever ‘do it’ on a Saturday night after a glass or three of wine, then a quickie every now and then, adding the element of surprise and spontaneity, can be exactly what is needed. Not planning the act for days in advance means that it becomes a lot more fun, and if you’re adding a sliver of naughtiness (such as, you’re meant to be getting ready to go out, or the school bus is due back at any minute), then all the better.

Try Role Play

Role play could take some getting used to, but once you get over the initial embarrassment, you’ll find that it can kickstart your sex life in dramatic ways. It’s important to talk about it first and ask your partner what it is that he or she wants. Find out what kind of fantasies turn them on and let them know about yours as well. If the two ideas are entirely separate then take it in turns – otherwise, you could try to combine the two role plays into one and make everyone happy. How far you want to go depends on how confident you are in the idea. You can keep everything in the comfort of your own home and use costumes and props, or you could take it further afield; go into a bar and pretend not to know one another, for example. See where the game takes you and allow yourself to truly get into it and the outcome can be surprisingly erotic.

Give A Gift

You don’t have to spend a lot of money on this idea (although you can if you want to!) because, as ever with gift giving, it’s the thought that counts. Buy something lovely like new, silky lingerie and leave it on the bed so that your partner finds it when they get home. Make sure it is beautifully wrapped too, as that all adds to the romantic mystique. Or you could send something like chocolates, flowers, or perhaps even some cupcakes, for example, to his or her place of work. Include a suggestive note, and they won’t be able to stop thinking about coming home to you at the end of the day.

Explore Any Fetishes

We all have fetishes, even if we’re not entirely aware of them. Taking some time to become more aware and understand what it is that truly turns you on is vital if you want to spice up your love life. Ensure your partner does the same. Take some time to yourselves to explore what it is that you like to do or think about. Once you have a better idea, talk to one another. Don’t get embarrassed. If you need props and toys, then explore those as well! The Whizzinator, for example, is the ideal way to experience safe ‘watersports’ in bed, and if you search online, there are plenty of other ideas to enjoy. It could be that this release of what you have always desired is what was needed in the bedroom all the time.

Go Shopping For Toys

Adding to the idea of using sex toys, it’s fun to go ‘shopping’ together when you’re thinking of buying something. Just the act of browsing online can be enough to make things more exciting, but if you do want to buy something as well then doing it together, discussing the fun that you could have with it and the ideas that it is giving you can also be a big turn on. There are so many different toys on the market that there is sure to be something that suits your love life and personalities perfectly.

Add Danger

Controlled danger such as bungee jumping, rock climbing, or skydiving can all boost adrenalin levels significantly, and this safe kind of danger can also be a massive aphrodisiac. With your blood pumping and your adrenaline levels at an all-time high, many couples will want to rush back home to bed once the fun of their activity is over. It won’t work for everyone, but adding a hint of danger to your life every now and then can be exactly what is needed (plus it’s fun, even without the sex!).

Try New Positions

Something that can really have an impact on your sex life is switching to try new positions. There are dozens of different ideas to choose from, and if you’ve just been sticking to the same one or two for years, changing things up like this can take your intimacy to the next level and beyond. Take a look online at the different ways you can have sex, or buy a book that details everything for you. It may take a little while for these new positions to feel natural, but don’t worry! Once you get into it, you’ll find that it all works exactly as it should.

Have A Massage

A regular massage isn’t about intimacy or sex; it’s about relaxing muscles and reducing pain in some cases. Make sure this isn’t a regular massage, this is something else entirely! Get some special massage oils and take the time to really explore every inch of your partner. Get as close as possible and just enjoy the moment. A sexy, intimate massage does not have to lead to sex, and sometimes that’s all that is needed. Either way, you’ll both feel relaxed and happy and closer to one another than ever before.

A variation on this theme is to shower together. Washing one another is a surprisingly sexy act that, again, brings you closer as a couple.

Talk To One Another

This idea is as simple as it is effective: talk to one another. Couples can often stop talking not through animosity or because anything in particular has happened to mean they no longer want to communicate, but just because they have known one another for a long time and they can’t really think of anything to say. It doesn’t mean they don’t love one another, it just means that the relationship has moved to another stage. To bring things back to how they were at the start, talk to one another. Make sure that you sit down together after a day at work, for example, and tell one another one thing that was interesting or noteworthy that happened that day. Just talking will bring you closer together, and, if you can also talk about what you want to do in bed because you are so much closer now, it will potentially make your sex life a much deeper and enjoyable experience too.

What do you think?


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